I was recently asked the question: "Do you enjoy writing?" It took me one second to quickly reply, "Yes!"
When you are a self-critic, such as myself, often times it is more beneficial for someone to ask me if I like something, VS asking if I am good at something. The question: "Are you good at writing?" would have taken me more than just a second to answer. I do not want to dive deep into my inner psyche, or evaluate my self-confidence, but I do want to scratch the surface.
If you were to ask me if I was good a writing, it would prompt a lengthy response time and I would fumble through a response that ultimately was “No.” I would have to evaluate. I wold have to think about how I don't have published articles, or have a book written, or how so many other people do. I would have to think about how my blog has 2 entries so far.
What is stupid about my response? When I was asked if I enjoy writing, I failed to mention that not only do I enjoy it, that I have had articles published, and that I use to want to be a professional writer for a living. I didn't think to say these things because that stuff was a LONG time ago. Does that make me less qualified to be a good writer? I have not made a large enough effort to get published, or write a book recently.
This interaction made me come straight to my computer to make sure that I wrote a blog post.
My dad has a cousin, and we use to go visit him and his wife Maria in New Mexico. Two years ago, when I was able to see them after an extended time not seeing them, Maria asked me: "Do you still have a journal?" I kind of laughed, and said no. She said: "That is too bad. I remember when you use to come visit, you brought your journal. You told me you didn't go to sleep until you wrote an entry in your journal."
It is true, I had a journal and it was mandatory for myself that I write in it everyday. It wasn't but a year later that I was asked by a family friend if still write everyday.
When I first met my husband, I wrote him a letter. He was taken by it. I’m not sure it’s something a lot of people still do. I know my husband appreciated the letter. i know he didn’t care about my grammar, or punctuation, or if I was a novice. All he cared about was the content.
This is an eye-opening experience. Apparently I had forgotten how deep my connection was to writing. Everyone else seemed to know but me.... SO, am I good at writing? "Yes." Do I like writing? "No, I love it."
I wrote this poem in elementary school for my parents:
(I have zero clue how I remember this. Early memories of self accomplishment, maybe???)
"I have a bathtub.
It's 8 feet tall.
Thats' not small.
I hate to climb up its walls, for the fear I might fall.
I'm scared to fill it up all the way, for the bill I will have to pay."
-Sally, Circa early 1990's
Mom, did I get that right?